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The Resilient Rose

Photo by Alex Avalos

I was doing some reflecting on this year and all the other years before. Something we often do as we get older. If we don’t, we should highly consider it. Ladies, the Roses! You are amazing! Oh my, let me run down who you are, the description of the Resilient Rose.
She is born. Not asked to be born but here she is, fiery and all, either screaming at the top of her lungs, or looking around in amazement. “Where am I?”
As young as a toddler, she becomes observant and notices how women are treated. She quickly adapts to what she sees whether good or bad.
She typically reacts to the little boys in elementary and middle school because she has seen how it could get you favor. She has no clue that there are so many consequences to the concept but she does it. She sees the rewards. The stares. She hears the comments and compliments. And of course, she takes advantage of it and learns early on the skill of manipulation. How to work what she has to her advantages. At least she thinks so.
By the time she’s in high school, she is still waiting on her father to save her because so far, he hasn’t been around to do so. But a girl never gives up on her father early on in life. She is forever waiting on him to fulfill his promises to her. She’s waiting for him to “act right.”
This is why she can hold on to a bad boyfriend for so long without letting him go because she is waiting on him to get it together just like she waits on her dad to do the same.
She is smart. She gets through each year of high school as she struggles to maintain good grades, friendships, get along with teachers and administrators, while she tries to do her very best because she knows there is a future out there for her someplace.
As she accomplishes decent grades, manages to get through the petty disagreements with her friends, the backstabbing, the betrayal, the breakups, the struggles of keeping up her grades, the anguish of not knowing whether she will get into college or not. Fretting over who’s going to pay for it. While also sweating over the wrong guys but still making room to plan her future.
Then she becomes an adult. Realizing momma and daddy ain’t got no money saved up for her so if she wants to go to college, she has to apply for all the financial aid she can get. She does. She gets it. Wasn’t hard at all. She doesn’t know it will take a lifetime to pay back. She just knows she has money for school to get her education and she takes advantage of it like most would. What choice does she have? Stay back with her girlfriends with no plan? Either they are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, loving on the bad boy or just absolutely doing nothing. So she goes off! Great plan!
Then there is college. Does she fit in? Does she not fit in? Doesn’t matter, she proceeds to do the best that she can. And she does. Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t bond with anyone. Doesn’t matter if she’s been double crossed in college. Doesn’t matter if the person she fell in love with also loves her best friend. She gets through it even during her exams. Because of her experiences even as a young woman, she learns to fall gracefully and get back up. She realizes early on that life is about the struggle, but the struggle isn’t always. It’s temporary. Well, it’s temporary if you don’t stay in the struggle. She knows this. She also knows you have to get through it to get to it so savor the moment, no matter the moment.


She finally gets through school, may take her 4 to 10 years but she does it. She doesn’t quit till she is done. In fact, she may have dropped out several times but she will never quit, she always went back and forth till she finishes.
Then there is graduation and what do you know. She’s pregnant. The father may not be interested in hanging around because he’s too interested in his future, and now it doesn’t include her and yet a baby too. So there she is alone, with the exception of family. They are there to always help pick up the slack. No matter who, why, what, and when, there is somebody to help out. Just someone.
So there she goes, finished up college, baby in tow, looking for a job in her field she studied. She finally nails down a job, she finds an apartment and then she gets daycare to tend to her child while she works.


Childcare doesn’t always work out. Then there is the job. We get a supervisor that doesn’t care for us or worse, our own coworkers. We even may experience sexual harassment and hostile environments is the work place. We may have a church home where we are made to feel like a Jezebel or worse, the devil Bad people are everywhere. To top it off, the stresses of trying to fit dating in with everything else. Worse, with someone who is not evenly yoked with us who has problems of his own, not to mention, his own children to top it off.
It gets rough. It gets more challenging. We fall, but, we get back up.
Some of us work through these challenges while discovering we are also sick. We get diabetes, Cancer, STDs, dew with mental illnesses, and everything else imaginable. I once knew a woman, a nurse in fact, who contracted AIDS from her own husband. But she forgave him and eventually died from the disease. Then there is mental illness. I myself experienced a nervous breakdown behind a husband. I was in total disbelief that a spouse could ever cheat on me. I thought I was everything I could be to him AND some, but apparently not. It made me lose it temporarily until I realized who I was. I’m God’s child. That’s where resiliency comes in. We have to realize who we belong to and that he will never forsake us. We have to believe, “I am enough!” Just say it till it’s embedded in your heart, mind and soul, “I AM ENOUGH!” Because, my dear beautiful, resilient Rose, YOU are!
We are resilient! We typically do not up. We won’t quit. We find a way. We bounce back from adversity. Ever wonder how a 350 pound woman can lose her man and one year later she’s lost 150 pounds with a make over and a new career? Its because we are equip to come back. We are equip to take care of things. To not fold under pressure. We are made to survive. My sister, a breast cancer survivor from 25 years ago, twice, got her chest butchered, both breast, but she managed to be selected as one of the top ten teachers in Prince Georges County in the state of Maryland. We are strong. We can get through anything. Then there is domestic violence. We’ve been burned by our loved ones, yes, physically torched. Beat beyond recognization, wires holding our mouths togethers. Stomped on, cheated on, spat at! Financially drained. Some loved ones have stolen not only our hearts, but whatever savings we had managed to store up for a rainy day.
Yet, we rise. We don’t stay down. We get back up. We are indeed the Resilient Rose. We weather the storms.

We are resilient! We typically do not up. We won’t quit. We find a way. We bounce back from adversity. Ever wonder how a 350 pound woman can lose her man and one year later she’s lost 150 pounds with a make over and a new career? Its because we are equip to come back. We are equip to take care of things. To not fold under pressure. We are made to survive. My sister, a breast cancer survivor from 25 years ago, twice, got her chest butchered, both breast, but she managed to be selected as one of the top ten teachers in Prince Georges County in the state of Maryland. We are strong. We can get through anything. Then there is domestic violence. We’ve been burned by our loved ones, yes, physically torched. Beat beyond recognization, wires holding our mouths togethers. Stomped on, cheated on, spat at! Financially drained. Some loved ones have stolen not only our hearts, but whatever savings we had managed to store up for a rainy day.
Yet, we rise. We don’t stay down. We get back up. We are indeed the Resilient Rose. We weather the storms.

The Resilient Rose is:
Powerful
Strong
Kind
Forgiving
Compassionate
Understanding
Loving
Hardworking
Funny
Caretaker
Romantic
Sassy
Sexy
Passionate
Capable
Adventurous
Successful
Leader
Fighter
Talented
Unique (her own set of DNA, does not have to compete with anyone)
Accomplished
Equal
Dreamer
Thoughtful
Empowered
Curious
Hustler
Feisty
Respected
Conscientious
Inquisitive
Helpful
Assertive
Spiritual
Self-reliant
Motivated
Knowledgeable
Informed
Brave
Bold
Dedicated
Diligent (she does not quit)
Remarkable
Gutsy
Educated
Self-assured
Confident
Graceful
Interesting
Calm (doesn’t easily get her feathers wrestled)
Tenacious
Trailblazer
Professional (or learning to be)
Free
“We are Enough!”


So don’t you ever forget who you are. That beautiful queen. Forever and always,
The Resilient Rose.


Tonya

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